My favorite male role models in fiction
I read a lot, nowadays, that young boys don’t have positive male role models anymore, to show them what a great man is supposed to look like. I kind of disagree. I grew up looking up to some amazing male role models, on TV or in Cinema. Even if they don’t really exist, they taught me a lot about what it means to be a great man, a great father, and a great person generally. I’m not saying I can emulate all of their qualities of course, nobody can. They are idealized human beings. But they can give a very good moral compass for young men I believe.
For most of them , I know at least some criticism has been drawn. After all, everybody is complex, even fictitious characters (at least the good ones), so there is good and bad in all of them. For instance, it’s true that a character like Mufasa enforces a patriarchal monarchy, I get it, it’s not the optimal system. But I believe that this character is still a great and positive influence. Both can be true at the same time. I believe a monarchy is not a good regime, while I can also admit that there are great kings (like Marcus Aurelius for instance, the perfect example of the great and benevolent emperor). To “philosophy”, we have to become confortable juggling with paradoxical and opposite ideas. Let’s do that then :)
1-Charles Ingalls, from The little house on the prairie
This one is more complexe than the others, because he’s not just a fictitious character. He is actually doubly “real”. First because he is based on a real person, Charles Ingalls was indeed the father of author Laura Ingalls, from the 19th century. She wrote the book “The little house on the prairie”, as an autobiography. But also because he was played on TV, and written, by actor/producer/screenwriter Michael Landon. And this man is a real great guy apparently.
To explain it very briefly, Michael Landon grew up in a very hateful environment. His parents molested him as a child. His mother constantly told him she didn’t like him. Because of the stress, he was urinating in bed all his childhood. And every morning his mother hung up the sheets on the window, to shame him. When he grew up, he fell in love with The little house on the prairie, and decided to adapt it for TV. Everybody who worked with him said he was the “best guy ever”. He split the bonus money from the studio in equal parts with all the team members. He offered a personal Christmas present to everyone of them. And all the child who worked with him said he was extremely good and protective. When the father of Melissa Gilbert (the young actress who played Laura Ingalls) died, he took a great place in her life, taking a fatherly figure.
Moreover, and very interestingly, none of the numerous young child who played in the show developed later problems of mental health, or addiction issues, like is so common in Hollywood for child movie stars.
People who knew Michael Landon well, said he wanted, with the show, to recreate the loving family he never had as a child.
Likewise, the character he plays on the show is really a good, loving, benevolent figure. He makes mistakes, but he is always striving to help his family, and more generally everybody in need. He is strong, confident, able, but never brags. When I grew up, I loved this character. He represents everything I wish I could be. He is not a superhero, which makes him even greater. For me, he is the incarnation of the “real man”, in the most noble sense. Far from the stupid “alpha males” archetypes, who want to “lead”, dominate, have a big car and a big watch, and a lot of women. He just want to have a peaceful and simple family life. He doesn’t worry about what other people think of him, and in return, he doesn’t judge them either.
2-Mufasa, from the lion King
Mufasa really is the perfect father, in my opinion. Always teaching practical stuff to his son, but also explaining bigger philosophical questions. Talking to Simba almost like he is an adult, and not just a little child, taking him seriously. Not shying away from talking about death and serious matters. He can be hard, but never too much, and always in a fair manner. And he really, like really, loves his son.
He is strong, but it’s not only his physical force that makes him a strong character. It’s his sense of justice, and of protection of others. He is the archetype of the benevolent and positive figure. He doesn’t seek anything for himself, but for the common good. He takes everybody, and everything, seriously. But he can also be fun and lighthearted.
I believe the evidence of his goodness can be found in the fact that EVERYBODY cries when he dies. Not just the children, but the grown ups too. And if they don’t cry, they have a great difficulty holding their tears. Come on, admit it, there is no shame ;). It’s not just because it’s sad to see a child loose their father. It’s also because we all intuitively understand the value of his loss. We understand that it’s unusual to be that good. When someone THAT good dies, it really is a big loss. For the child of course, but also for the whole community. And even, I would venture to say, for the “balance between good and evil” in the world. We mourn the loss of the “good” in that regard, not just of the man (or lion here haha).
3-Superman
Ok, this one is an easy, cheesy pick, I know. I won’t talk too much about him, because you all know his qualities, and he is just too perfect. I just wanted to include him here, because I do believe he is still a very good role model for kids. Maybe not the recent movie adaptations (too dark), but at least the classical comic book character, or the one from the earlier movies (with Christopher Reeves).
But let’s admit it, he is not just super strong. What makes him a real hero is that he has an unalterable moral sense. He NEVER kills. NEVER. He always believe the “bad guys” deserve a second chance. He believes in humanity, in people. Even in his worst enemy, even in Lex Luthor. (I’m talking about the “classical” superman, not the one from the extended universe of “Injustice: Gods among us” and other alternate DC universe).
He is shy also, that makes him relatable, and he is down to earth (if I can say that for someone who flies all the time haha), he is just nice, good, benevolent. He NEVER tries to gain anything for himself. Ok, maybe with the exception of the love of his life, Lois Lane. Remember, Lois is in love with Superman. Not with Clark Kent. But still, he will not reveal his powers to “seduce” her until very late. Ok, I’ll admit he is a little bit… hum… lying to her. Because he hides his secret identity. I get it. He is not perfect. But that’s why I love him even more. He knows he is doing something bad, and he doesn’t like that. He is conflicted. He is very human in that sense.
4-James Bond
“Oh la la” as we say in France. I really, really, hesitated to put him on this list. Because, he is closer to the bad alpha males stereotypes, than to the other great guys of this list. Some could even argue that he is a little bit sociopathic. So why would I include him here?
Because of something very important about him. Not his luxurious watches or cars, or the fact that he is a seducer. Not because he knows a thousand ways to kill you. That’s not the reason. I put him here, because of his very weird and powerful sense of the importance of the common good. He is, before anything, before all the glamor and the prestige, and the cool suits, and the women, a PUBLIC SERVANT in the most noble sense. It is his life. He sacrifices absolutely everything to that goal. He didn’t marry, or have children, he is lonely (i’m not saying it’s good, but it shows his willingness to sacrifice). He doesn’t seek peace, or calm. Because he knows there are very dangerous people in the world. He gave up a “normal peaceful life”, so we can all live one.
I know he is not a “good character”. He doesn’t have a strong moral code. He kills people like you kill mosquitoes. He even laughs about it multiple times. He would probably be one of the WORST father in the world (never there, always at work… having sex with the babysitter…). But, he has a weird, unusual sense of duty. Almost like a priesthood. Deep down, he knows he is a f*cked up man, a bad person. And that’s why he knows he has to do his job. He knows society needs people like him to do the “dirty work”.
He is very real in a sense, because he is like a lot of our real life great heroes, like the great soldiers and generals. Men who really were not, in any sense, “great guys”. Not “good guys”, far from the fictitious superheroes. They are almost “bad characters” (drinking too much, gambling, seducing, killing…), but who nevertheless helped to fight “real evil” (to the extent that would exist), and really made the world a better place for all of us. Like Churchill and De Gaulle, like Eisenhower and MacArthur, like Law Montgomery and Patton, like Thomas Edward Lawrence and so many guys in the special forces and the army, that we will never hear about. More famously some could also think of a man like John Fitzgerald Kennedy, a man who was terribly unfaithful to his wife, but nevertheless saved the world from nuclear war in 1962. Those people, maybe bad fathers, sometimes unfaithful, who could create mayhem for the people closest to them, but necessary people.
Because Bond knows that to be able to fight real evil, you need some of that evil in yourself. You can’t endure such dangers, such fear, such stress, such ignominy, if you can’t look deep down into the abyss. And as Nietzsche famously said, “if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you”. It takes a monster to fight monsters.
So yeah, I wanted to include Bond here, because he is the archetype of the protector. The imperfect, but real protector. He doesn’t want fame, he doesn’t care about money, He has a lot of vices, like drinking and smoking and gambling too much. But he doesn’t care in the least about his own well-being, about his own mental or physical health. He just knows he has to do his job, no matter the cost, because some people are bad or crazy, and the others are too afraid. So yes, I do believe that in a weird and twisted sense, he is still a role model. Not necessarily one you want to emulate in real life, but more as a general and abstract moral compass, about putting the public good above oneself.
Conclusion
So here are my favorite male role models. Please tell me if you disagree, it’s a very personal list of course, not an absolute reference. And of course some of them are more questionable than others. But what I like, even with the twisted ones, is that they show that being good is not necessarily the same as being perfect.
Thank you and have a good day :)
